Getting A Dog Has Changed Me

I’ve never been a dog person. Go ahead, judge me. I’m used to the horrified gasps.

Until recently, I had never really been around dogs. I’ve always found them too boisterous and messy for my personal preference. I was a bit scared of big, jumpy dogs when I was younger and so I’ve always tried to stay away from them. It makes visiting new friends’ houses fraught with uncertainty. Will there be a dog? Will it try to tear my face off?

So when the man I’m marrying started making noises about getting a dog, I tried to artfully nip it in the bud. We had enough trouble keeping the house tidy without the added hassle of cleaning up after a smelly beast who chews the furniture, thank you very much.

More importantly, I wasn’t at all keen on making any of the sacrifices that having a dog requires one to make. Freezing walks in the pouring rain and having to go home from the pub early because the dog needs feeding? That was never gonna be me.

Can a dog help your mental health?

At the beginning of this year, I caved. I had been going through a tough time with my mental health and was in a dark place. I knew things had to change and in my despair, I thought about all the ways dogs seem to make people happy. I couldn’t think of any other way to invite joy into my life.

The cynic in me said that by getting a dog, I was inviting a whole new set of problems in to my life – vet appointments, spoiled carpets, late night barking… But frankly, I was sick of listening to the Negative Nancy who had taken up residence in my head. She had been in charge for too long and it was time to give Positive Polly a chance to speak.

Pushing aside the fact that I wasn’t a ‘dog person’ and the overwhelming unease I felt about this little creature taking over my house, I relented. We could get a dog.

My fiance, bless him, was over the moon. Knowing I might find it hard to cope, he did a lot of research into the easiest and most obedient dogs out there. He settled on a cockapoo.

He chose the breed because they’re known to be intelligent, easy to train and, most importantly for me: they don’t shed. I was not prepared to spend any longer hoovering the couch than I had to, thank you very much.

I was very clear with Tom that the dog was his responsibility and if I couldn’t deal with it, it would be a me-or-the-dog situation. I mean, I really wasn’t sure about this. But Tom was infectiously excited and promised me I’d love our dog.

Finding Archie

I went with Tom to look at a puppy and I couldn’t help but melt a little bit when the tiny mite we’d call Archie was dropped into my arms. He absolutely stunk, but the way he nuzzled into me was so endearing. We went to a pub to discuss before paying our deposit, but I knew Tom had made his mind up.

Remember Positive Polly, I kept telling myself. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I was desperate.

Yes I was nervous and uncomfortable about doing a  complete 180 on my no dogs stance, but a tiny part of me was SORT OF looking forward to having a dog around. Would this happy little puppy be able to bring light into my days?

I forced myself not to panic. I could do this.

I was back home with my parents when Tom picked him up. Selfishly, I’m glad I wasn’t present for that first week of Dog Life. I’m told there was late-night crying (he said that was the dog but I have a sneaky suspicion it was both of them) and a lot of poop. Archie had stomach problems for the first few weeks of his life with us.

When I travelled back to the UK, I still wasn’t in a great place emotionally but I prepared myself to meet my new little mate. It was going to be the start of a new chapter.

I won’t lie, I didn’t immediately fall in love with Archie. I mean, I’m not a monster: I could appreciate that he was cute. But it took a good few weeks to stop feeling exasperated when he got under my feet while I was making dinner or when he peed on the carpet (although he didn’t do that nearly as much as I was anticipating). Also, he wasn’t well, and I wasn’t well enough myself to take on a dog’s illness too. Luckily, Tom stuck to his word and dealt with the vet visits etc.

Slowly, Archie and I made friends. He’s an incredibly loving, obedient dog – Tom had picked a breed that was easy to love – and I soon stopped scolding Tom when he referred to me as ‘Archie’s mammy’. Yes, that’s me.

How our puppy helped my mental health

Weirdly, having the dog around brought out a maternal side I didn’t know I had. I couldn’t bear to hear Archie cry when he was scared to be in a moving car, and I cried with him when he gave himself a fright in the garden and came bounding to me, yelping with fear.

I wasn’t expecting it, but I was suddenly attuned to this little creature’s feelings. Archie softened me, and it hasn’t been a bad thing.

One of the big things that had negatively affected my mental health was the fact that I work from home and when I’m not travelling I can easily go a full week without speaking to anyone except Tom. Having Archie in the house rectified that – okay, he doesn’t talk back, but having someone around to talk at helps. It makes me feel less isolated.

Getting a dog also gave me a reason to get up in the morning on bad days. This little puppy needed me to look after him, whether I wanted to stay in bed wallowing or not. Every morning, I come downstairs to find him sprawled across our shoes, and his tail starts wagging uncontrollably when he feels me approaching for our first cuddle of the day.

I wasn’t leaving the house much – at first because doing anything felt pointless due to the state of my mental health and then because of lockdown – so having to walk the dog every day has benefitted my wellbeing hugely. A little bit of fresh air and exercise isn’t going to cure depression when you’re stuck in its throes, but it can definitely make it feel like less of a burden.

When you’ve got a cute little puppy trotting along beside you, people want to talk to you. I’ve really enjoyed stopping to answer people’s questions! On a work day where I’m otherwise strapped to a laptop in silence for eight hours, a quick chat with a passing stranger can really brighten my mood.

Archie has been with us for six months now and the two of us are inseparable. He’s still Tom’s best mate when Tom’s not at work, but for eight hours a day, it’s just me and Archie. He’s gotten over the illness he had as a baby and I’m stronger now too. I think we’re going to be okay.

I’m not suggesting anyone struggling with mental illness gets a dog to ‘cure’ it – mental health doesn’t work like that. But my personal experience was that, with a combination of other forms of support, the dog helped me. Archie was a simple pleasure that bounded into my life when I wasn’t allowing myself to be happy, and I’ll never forget that.